Arctic Fox

Today the Lobby Vixen is one arctic fox! I, like my foxy brethren, trekked out in the autumn snow and arrived at work early today so that our many concerned patrons would be encouraged to come out and enjoy the show by a real person instead of an answering machine. I was happy to learn from my messages that a large percentage of tonight’s crowd still intended to come out! Someone pointed out to me that we have canceled shows for less snow than this, but that was because of massive cancellations on the customer’s part! If the audience wants to come, we want to put on a show! I quote the great Irving Berlin song, “There’s No Business, Like Show Business,” from Annie Get Your Gun: “The opening when your heart beats like a drum/the closing when the customers won’t come/There’s no business, like show business.”

As I started to plod through the multiple messages that had been left, several of them reminded me of some issues with answering machine etiquette. I want to give customers a professional, easy experience when ordering tickets, but sometimes it is the customers themselves that prevent that from happening. Maybe by reading this you can avoid some of these next time you leave a message!

1. Leave your name. I would love to address you appropriately when I return your call, instead of the less professional, “Hello, this is Vixen I am returning a call from this number.” That makes me feel like one of those people who call back every number that comes up on their caller id, or cell phone, or like a teenager in 1996 returning a call from my pager. But if you leave me a message that says “555-555-5555 I want to order tickets” what else can I say?

2. TMI. That means too much information. Here is an example: “Hi my name is John Doe, we want tickets for Friday’s show, or maybe Saturday’s, I just don’t know because I am going to the doctor Thursday morning to get this boil on my arm checked out since it has started bleeding. So I might not feel up to going out, but if I do, I want to come Friday, if it is still bothering me then Saturday is probably better. It has been bothering me for weeks and this is the first chance I have had to get it checked out and that’s good because I think it is infected…” you get the idea. TMI can also apply to less personal things that just slow down the process of me getting you your tickets. “I might drive, but my friend said she wants to drive, but I don’t like when she drives because she always goes over the speed limit…” Believe me, caring, compassionate Vixen is concerned for your health and safety, but she does not need this information in order to secure your tickets. If you leave this information out of your message my return call will come faster and I won’t need to listen more than once to get the important information (name, date, number of tickets).

3. Leaving multiple messages. It says in the prompt that someone will be here 2 hours before the performance. That means on a Saturday, with a 7:30 show, I will arrive at 5:30. Leaving messages at 8:30am, 10:15am, 1:32pm and 4:56pm yelling because I have yet to return your first call does not move the process any faster. In fact it slows me down because I have to get through 4 messages, where one would have been enough!

4. Speak clearly. Remember that the single most important piece of information you are leaving is your phone number! I can’t count how many messages say, “This is John Doe, that’s D-as-in-dog O E. My phone number is 303-jhirheiughuygherg” And the number gets sped through and dropped. If I can’t call you back, I can’t get your order processed.

Remembering some of these will help you get faster, more competent service! I want to sell you tickets! I want you to come see the show! I want it to be an east process! But I can’t make that happen unless the information I need is left clearly and concisely!

Now, I trek out beyond my own little lobby all the time to catch shows all over town. And I, just like you have to call and speak to a machine to get tickets. So when I leave a message, I use this little rule. I only leave a message that I would want to hear. “Hi! This is Vixen. I would like to purchase 2 tickets for the Saturday performance. Please give me a call back at 303-555-4040. Thanks!” I speak clearly, slowly and I just give the basic info. Remember Name, Date, and Number of Tickets.

Now your amiable arctic fox is going to trek back out into the snow and clear off the icy sidewalks! Keep warm everybody!!