Attention Actors: New Rules for Auditions!!

So your favorite, formidable Lobby Vixen doesn't only work shows. I also work auditions, and as auditions are looming in the distance, I want to give my actor friends, and even actor strangers, a few rules on behavior for auditions.

Now, lovely, learned Miss Vixen is an actor herself, though my tendency to audition had dwindled since college. So I know the basic rules of auditions, and I know most of you know the basic rules of auditions, so we are going to bypass those and I am going to give you my extra rules.

It's about behavior!! You would not believe how many actors I get who are so badly behaved. And all the well behaved actors are going to outshine a badly behave actor every time!

First, SHOW UP ON TIME!! I cannot even begin to tell you how many professional actors show up late to auditions. It's damn near ridiculous. Write down your auditions time, than give yourself 15 minutes. You want to show up early because you are bound to have an audition form to fill out, and if I have to wait for you, it just throws everything off.

Remember that you start your audition from the moment you leave your car (or bus, or taxi or subway train, whatever). You should be ready to impress from that moment on. You want us to like you. And once you enter the theatre that is most important. You never know when the person you deal with in the lobby, has pull backstage. For example, some auditions ago, I was working the lobby with the stage manager for the particular show that was auditioning. She had taken a call from a very pushy actress. This actress demanded she be put directly on the call back list. That's like if when asked to interview, you called back and asked if you could bypass that interview and just go to the final interview. Who does that? No one! Why? It’s completely illogical! We checked to see if she knew the director or producer, she, of course, said she did. When we checked with them, we learned it was false. So she remained on the audition list where she was. Then she called claiming that the reason why she needed to be moved directly to the call back list was because she was doing a movie and just simply did not have the time.

Here's the thing actors, if you want the job, you make the time. If you don't have the time, find another job. An actor who can’t make time for an audition, is the sign of an actor who can’t make time for rehearsals. That doesn’t sell you to us. We want people who are reliable.

So this charming actress had been rude on the phone to both me and the stage manager. Not a great start. And we were not having it, but when the actress walked in for her audition, I gave her the benefit of a doubt. I said my normal schpeal in my normal tone, and then informed her, that unfortunately, due to unforeseen circumstances, we were running late. She had a cow! She couldn't stay, she was doing a movie!! Again she copped an attitude, and we copped one back. The stage manager laid down the law and stated that that was just the way things were, and she would have to deal.

When the stage manager went into the theatre, she cornered me. "You know I talked to so and so (naming the stage manager by name) to see if I could just go straight to the call back list." So I was forced to inform her that said stage manager was the woman she had just verbally badgered.

To this day, I cannot describe the "oh crap" look on her face. But it was priceless and you bet I enjoyed every last second of it. She knew then, that she had royally screwed up. So to make amends, she jumped on the stage manager immediately as she came back out into the front of house apologizing profusely.

Of course, then I told the stage manager why that had happened. At this point, we opted to discuss her with the director and the producer. They then took time out of what was a VERY BUSY and VERY HECTIC audition schedule to politely tell the woman that that was just not how we worked and that she could stay and audition, but she would have to wait.

She left.

I found out the next day that she wrote a long apology note to the director, via the box office manager. I found it hilarious. To this day, I remember her name, and I will always be wary of her.

Lastly, I want to say, always be auditioning. From the time you make the appointment, straight on through strike, you are auditioning. The house staff, backstage staff, director, producers, designers and other actors may just be the deciding factor on your next job. This brings me to my last story.

For this set of auditions, I got two calls regarding the same thing. Both actors had conflicts and wanted to move their auditions. Actor 1 called and rudely demanded that I talk to the producer to get him on the callback list. I'm sorry, if you want a job, you need to try and get it. I could care less if you get cast, don't ask me to work for you. You get the numbers you need and do the work yourself. Not to mention, everyone heard the story.

Actor 2 called and politely and apologetically asked if there was any way at all I could change his audition. His appointment was moved. Everyone heard this story as well.

In truth, I get asked at almost every audition about how behavior was in the lobby. And you never know when my say is going to count. Even if it doesn't, that shouldn't prohibit you from treating me kindly, or anyone for that matter.

I know it’s a stereotype for actors to be egotistical and demanding, but that doesn't get you cast. Hold your attitude until you start bringing in million dollar paychecks and there are several high profile awards on your resume.

I hope this helps! Break-a-leg!!