House Managing 101

Silly as it sounds, my job doesn't necessarily come naturally to people. Yes it's relatively simple in theory. Open house, get people seated, pour wine. But I can tell you from personal experience, not everyone is cut out for the job!

When I was still just a wet behind the ears lobby vixen I was working a show with our most established house manager. Notice I didn't say best, I said most established. Read: She'd been there FOREVER! She and I were working at a very busy Christmas show, trying to fill 200 concessions orders in approximately 15 minutes. A woman came up to me at the bar and asked if we take check. I turned to the mature manager to inquire myself if this was an acceptable for of payment, instead she looked past me at the patron and yelled "Yes we take check, now get to the back of the line." Ok, so this lady was outside of the line, yes, but my guess is she was just doing it to make sure of our payment policies before getting in the line. Surely she wasn't going to just order. And had I the chance to politely answer her, I don't doubt that is how it would have happened. But unfortunately she took offense at my cranky co-workers words and complained to the box office. Not everyone can do my job.

It takes finesse. You have to know how to appear as the audience wants. You have to have the answer they are looking for when things go wrong. It's sort of like theatre itself. Know the lines!

Next time you go to see a show, go early. Sit in the lobby and look for the house manager. They probably are dressed nicely, better then the ushers and in some cases, better then the audience. They are usually quiet, but attentive. Sometimes we have name tags or head sets, or maybe just a walkie talkie. Check out the ushers, the lobby, the concessions. All of this is my domain. Chances are, none of what you are seeing was ready that morning. That house manager probably put in an hours worth of work preparing for you.

There is a lot to be done. Not that I am complaining. I love my job. I have turned down other better paying full time jobs to keep this job. I might actually be crazy. But that is for another blog on another day. You CANNOT show up for this job 5 minutes prior to house open. Period. End of sentence.

Which brings me to my very odd day. A few days ago I was house managing a show. Nothing out of the ordinary, it was a show that was in the middle of a lengthy run, I had worked before, my fellow lobby ladies had worked as well. The show ran typically and often very smoothly. I showed up early, to relieve the box office maven working that day. I set up as usual, even got done early and found time to read before anyone showed up. As I prepared to open house a woman walked in baring props. Not out of the ordinary, but a little strange. I asked if I could help her, and informed her that house wasn't open yet. A statement that brings a barrage of different responses, but never this one. She looked me square in the eye and said, "Nope, I'm the house manager."


...right....but I'm the house manager. I know because I work here. And I'm on the payroll. And I've been here for an hour and a half setting up. You can't house manage a house that opens in five minutes.

Truthfully I chalk it all up to confusion. Maybe she meant usher, maybe because she usually is the house manager for the company that is renting out the space. I don't know. I figured maybe I had missed something, maybe we normally have some help. Sadly, I had to inform her that I was the house manager and that I had nothing for her to do.

The odd thing was that when I asked my lovely co-lobby vixens, they hadn't had any such thing happen to them. So I was the only one, on this one night. Weird.

In the end, because I am in the spirit of Halloween, I am going to have to say it was a mysterious ghost house manager, the spirit of a house manager long dead who wanted to revisit her past. Ooooh! Eerie! Of course she was dressed in 2009 garb so it's not exactly the best explanation. But hey, it's fun. And weirder things have happened to me.